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FACTORS TO CONSIDER IN MARRIAGE+MAMBO YA KUZINGATIA KATIKA NDOA

MAHABA Jumatatu, Aprili 19, 2021

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 English&Swahili

FACTORS TO CONSIDER IN MARRIAGE

If he tells you I don't know why I married a woman like you smile and tell her it's because you grow up with the ability to find someone better than me so it's not that you outnumbered me but I grew up getting along! Even if you don't have the courage to tell him that but tell yourself, tell yourself knowing that if he grew up better than you as he always promises then he would marry those he sees as better than you.

If you see a man every time you argue his words are the same then know that the problem is not you but the problem is him, he is not confident that's why he has to lower you to feel like you are right. Stop coming down and being like him, stop hurting and see yourself as rubbish in front of him because the truth grows until he comes to seduce you or until he agrees to be with you then he loved you or you are of his kind. If you didn't grow up of its kind you wouldn't impress him and he wouldn't follow you!

He should not bore you with his shombo words because if he grew up with the ability of those he sees as good why would he follow them but he was not with them and he remained with you! Finally remember that the way you are is what God wanted you to be, He would have created you otherwise He would have done that and He grew up with that ability but no, He decided to be that way and you have no reason to hate yourself and see yourself as trash.

BAD TRUTH; IF A MAN DOESN'T BELONG TO YOURSELF WHEN YOU LOSE TIME TO ENDURE IT DOESN'T CHANGE! *

A man changes for the woman he wants and not for the tolerant woman. It is common to see a woman enduring persecution from a man for years and years back, but if they divorce then you find the man finds another woman and changes until you come to wonder if this one or the other

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But you who are left wondering if he grew up doing it on purpose or not? You feel like you have a mistake or you are the one who grew up with the problem, no problem is not the case so the issue is you are growing your role and you grew up forcing yourself on him. I know you know yourself, if you force yourself you know yourself, if you see nothing you do to please him then the sun is forcing yourself.

If every day he changes women and doesn't care if you know it or not, if every day it is hitting you and you talk a little you will hear us leave you find yourself really apologizing, if every day you are right in a relationship, if even one day he doesn't see the good thing you do The sun never sets on you. Know that even if he does not want to leave you but you are not his part.

You will be patient and he will continue to stay with you until he meets the woman of his section who will love him, he will not hit or abuse him, even if he smells you will feel well he will laugh like a fala and people will start saying that he was fed Limbwata. But the fact is that they are ‘clicks’ and they are happy which is why his mistakes he sees as normal when you humble yourself he saw them as vomit.

Now, my sister, the decision is yours, continue to endure the suffering while you wait for someone in your family to leave you or tell him no, it is not enough for you to find your part. Maybe I should just encourage you that he may miss someone of his role and continue to harass you until old age. Yes, there are people who have been married for 20 years and they still ask me for advice that they are being abused and beaten every day. They are not happy.

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Swahili 

MAMBO YA KUZINGATIA KATIKA NDOA

Akikuambia sijui kwanini nilioa mwanamke kama wewe tabasamu na muambie ni kwakua hukua na uwezo wa kupata mwingine bora zaidi yangu hivyo si kwamba wewe umenizidi chochote bali nikwakua tunaendana! Hata kama huna ujasiri wa kumuambia hivyo lakini jiambie wewe mwenyewe, jiambie ukijua kua kama angekua ni bora kuliko wewe kama anavyojinadi kila mara basi angeoa hao anaowaona kama ni bora kuliko wewe.

Ukiona mwanaume kila mara mnapogombana maneno yake ndiyo hayo basi jua kuwa tatizo si wewe bali tatizo ni yeye, hajiamini ndiyo maana analazimika kukushusha ili ahisi kama vile mko sawa. Acha kushuka na kuwa kama yeye, acha kuumia na kujiona kama takataka mbele yake kwani ukweli nikua mpaka anakuja kukutongoza au mpaka anakubali kuwa na wewe basi alikupenda au wewe ni wa aina yake. Kama usingekua wa aina yake usingemvutia na asingekufuata!

Asikuchoshe na maneno yake ya shombo kwani kama angekua na uwezo wa hao anaowaona ni wazuri mbona angewafuata wao lakini hakua nao na akabaki na wewe! Mwisho kumbuka kuwa jinsi ulivyo ndivyo ambavyo Mungu alitaka uwe hivyo, angetaka kukuumba kivingine angefanya hivyo na alikua na uwezo huo lakini hapana, aliamua uwe hivyo na huna sababu ya kujichukia na kujiona takataka kisa tu una mwanaume ambaye hajiamini!

UKWELI MCHUNGU; KAMA MWANAUME SI WA FUNGU LAKO UNAPOTEZA MUDA KUVUMILIA HABADILIKI!*

Mwanaume hubadilika kwa mwanamke ambaye anamtaka na si kwa mwanamke mvumilivu. Ni jambo la kawaida kumuona mwanamke akivumilia mateso kutoka kwa mwanaume kwa miaka nenda miaka rudi, lakini wakiachana basi unakuta mwanaume anapata mwanamke mwingine na anabadilika mpaka unakuja kushangaa kama  huyu huyu au mwingine?

Lakini wewe ambaye umeachwa unawaza kama alikua anakufanyia makusudi au la? Unajiona labda una mikosi au wewe ndiyo ulikua tatizo, hapana ishu haiku hivyo ishu nikuwa hukua fungu lako na ulikua unajilazimishia kwake. Najua unajijua, kama unajilazimishia unajijua, kama unaona hakuna kitu unachokifanya kikamfurahisha basi jua unajilazimishia.

Kama kila sikua anabadilisha wanawake na hajali kama umejua au la, kama kila siku ni kukupiga na ukiongea kidogo utasikia tuachane unajikuta unaomba msamaha kweli, kama kila siku wewe ni wa kulia kwenye mahusiano, kama hata siku moja haoni kitu kizuri unachomfanyia ni kukutukana na kukunyanyasa basi jua kua wewe ni wakulazimishia. Jua kwamba hata kama hataki kukuaacha lakini wewe si fungu lake.

Utavumilia na kweli ataendelea kubaki na wewe mpaka pale ambapo atakutana na mwanamke wa fungu lake huyu atampenda, hatampiga wala kumnyanyasa, hata akijamba utasikia umejamba vizuri atajichekesha kama fala na watu wataanza kusema kuwa kalishwa Limbwata. Lakini ukweli nikuwa wame ‘click’ na wanafuraha ndiyo maana makosa yake anayaona ya kawaida wakati wewe kunyenyekea kwako aliona kama matapishi.

Sasa Dada yangu uamuzi ni wako, uendelee kuvumilia mateso ukisubiri apate mtu wa fungu lake akuache au umuambie hapana inatosha na wewe utafute wa fungu lako. Labda nikupe moyo tu kuwa anaweza kukosa mtu wa fungu lake akaendelea kukunyanyasa wewe mpaka uzee. Ndiyo kuna watu wana miaka 20 kwenye ndoa bado wananiomba ushauri kua wananyanyaswa na kupigwa kila siku hawana furaha, nawewe vumilia utakua mmoja wao

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