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CONSIDER THIS IF YOU ARE MARRIED+ZINGATIA HILI UKIWA KWENYE NDOA

MAHABA Jumanne, Aprili 27, 2021


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 English &Swahili 

CONSIDER THIS IF YOU ARE MARRIED

I have decided to use harsh words because I see how many women when they get married feel it is normal to take on the responsibilities of a husband but when things go wrong they start complaining and saying that they have been abandoned in the family. Let me start by saying, when you get married it is your husband's responsibility to take care of you and their children and if he can't just stay married you don't have to get married, soap is the cheapest price!

Hainogi and marriage will not last if a man is served by a woman, accept it do not accept yes so, a perfect man cannot be served everything by his wife. Now don't misunderstand my life and help each other and if the wife has a big income then the issue of helping the husband is a must, I repeat I have to but here the word is "HELPING EACH OTHER" and not "CARING RESPONSIBILITIES" I do not know if you have found a wife should help.

Now I go back to the "HERO" above, many women with jobs, earners there is something they say "I can not beg if he does not know his responsibilities are him!" Here a woman does all the chores, pays taxes, buys food, takes care of the children and everything and sees no problem. Her husband ends up buying beer or bribery and when he returns he wants food and water for bathing.

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Now this is not a problem in a young marriage, here you find first maybe you are just two, or if you have children they are young and even if they are adults they do not study. But if it is reading it is only one or two, so the woman can afford it. He serves and sees no problem or even if he sees a problem but he is not capable and finds it difficult to pray.

But my sister is coming when the children have grown up, you have two or three children who go to school for several million fees, they need to dress, eat and everything. The husband is the one who made him stupid, he no longer knows the responsibilities, not the wife has a job master and he is used to it even if he does not use it when he comes back he eats and flies completely, then you are confused because the responsibilities are too much.

If your husband tells you he is not used to saying no and when he grows up he knows he says no you will just pay the fee then he stops completely, the woman starts to get bored with thoughts, instead of thinking about Brazilian and Gucci you think you can pay the fee! You blame the man for abandoning the children but your past act of pretending you can't ask for money, pretending to be greedy is what heals you.

I know when you are gently told you don't hear you start Saying "Now if he doesn't give me what should I do?" I say leave it at that, if you get married and don't want to give money for food even if you work for the World Bank don't cook your food with those who come back and tell you exactly the money you grew up with is not enough. If he doesn't pay the electricity bill, Mama should come and meet him in the dark and if he doesn't pay taxes my brother then the utensils should be taken out.

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I repeat, even if you have the money, leave it at that, I'm not mistaken, I say leave it at that. If you are a child you do not want to pay the fees let them find out they have not gone to school and pretend you don't care even if you care. The only thing you can't do is deprive your children of food, there are no other things that don't kill you, your husband should know that he is the one who married you and not you.

Here I want you to understand me too, there are times when a man things get complicated, here even you see and you should not harass him and take responsibility. Unless he has a job, things are not difficult but he does not see the sun he is going to talk about it, let alone the ignorance of raising an adult, if he grew up he could not be independent why he should marry, he will not return to suckle his mother.

But also even here do not confuse, there are those who do not work but do not even increase, that he does not work but all day he is just playing remote with the children and waiting for the shower. Not a wife has a job she does not even own. If you give him business capital he goes to bribe and when he returns he wants to spend it completely. If you deny him or tell him you are not, he will complain and buy at all.

He pretends to talk in parables that you are harassing him and pretends to be weak you will think he is on Bleed! If you are of this type then the sun will take you cool and will never see you as her husband! My sister, stop harassing her, limit your spending until she adds and finds a job to do, remember a woman can be a housewife but a man cannot be a housewife!

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You are very angry My sisters, many of you who complain about family abandonment when you grow up pretending you do not know how to pray you are carrying responsibilities. A man cannot abandon children if he does not know if you have the means to care for them, but how to feed a man an adult. Change and be a wife, stop carrying her responsibilities now, you see they are small but as the children grow up you will be confused and your heart stops!

Swahili 

ZINGATIA HILI UKIWA KWENYE NDOA

Nimeamue nitumie maneno makali kwani naona namna ambavyo wanawake wengi wanapoingia kwenye ndoa huona kama ni kawaida kubeba majukumu ya mume lakini mambo yakiwashinda huanza kulalamika na kusema kuwa wametelekezewa familia. Nianze kwa kusema, unapoolewa ni jukumu la mume wako kukuhudumia kwa kila kitu wewe na wanao na kama hawezi abaki tu msela si lazima kuoa, sabuni ni bei rahisi zaidi!

Hainogi na ndoa haitadumu kama mwanaume unahudumiwa na mwanamke, ukubali usikubali ndiyo hivyo, mwanaume aliyekamilika hawezi kuhudumiwa kila kitu na mkewe. Sasa msinielewe vibaya maisha nikusaidiana na kama mke ana kipato kikubwa basi suala la kumsaidia mume ni la lazima, narudia nilalazima lakini hapa neno ni “KUSAIDIANA” na si “KUBEBA MAJUKUMU” sijui kama mmenipata mke anatakiwa asaidie.

Sasa narudi kwenye “KIHEREHERE” hapo juu, wanawake wengi wakiwa na kazi, wanakipato kuna kakitu wanasema “Mimi siwezi kuombao omba kama yeye hajui majukumu yake ni yeye!” Hapa mwanamke anafanya majukumu yote, analipa kodi, ananunua chakula, anahudumia watoto na kila kitu na haoni shida. Mume yeye zake anaishia kununulia Bia au kuhonga na akirudi anataka chakula na maji ya kuoga.

Sasa hii haina shida katika ndoa changa, hapa unakuta kwanza labda mko wawili tu, au kama mna watoto ni wachanga na hata kama ni wakubwa hawasomi. Lakini kama ni kusoma ni mmoja tu au wawili, hivyo mwanamke anawamudu. Anahudumia na haoni shida au hata kama anaona shida lakini si ana uwezo na anaona tabu kuomba.

Ila kimbembe Dada yangu kinakuja pale watoto wamekua wakubwa, una watoto wawili watatu wanaosoma shule ada milioni kadhaa, wanahitaji kuvaa, kula na kila kitu. Mume ndiyo huyo ulishamfanya bwege hawazi tena majukumu, si mke ana kazi bwana na alishazoea hata asipotoa matumizi akirudi anakula na kufoka kabisa, hapo ndiyo unachanganyikiwa kwani majukumu yamezidi.

Mume ukimuambia ashazoea kusema hana na kwakua anajua akisema hana wewe utalipa ada tu basi anaacha kabisa, mwanamke unaanza kuchakaa kwa mawazo, badala uwaze mambo ya Brazilian na Gucci unawaza kulipa ada! Unamlaumu mwanaume kakutelekezea watoto kumbe kiherehere chako cha huko nyuma kujifanya huwezi kuomba hela, kujifanya unavihela ndiyo kinakuponza.

Najua mkiambiwa kwa upole hamsikii mnaanza Kusema “Sasa kama hatoi mimi nifanye nini?” Mimi nasema acha kiherehere, kama kakuoa na hataki kutoa hela ya chakula hata kama unafanya kazi Benki ya dunia hembu pika chakula chako na wanao mle akirudi muambie kabisa hela uliyokua nayo haikutosha. Kama halipi bili ya umeme Mama aje akutane na giza na kama halipi kodi ndugu yangu basi vyombo vitolewe nnje.

Narudia hata kama una hela acha kiherehere, sijakosea nasema acha kiherehere cha kufanya kila kitu. Kama ni watoto hataki kulipa ada aje awakute hawajaenda shule na jifanye kama hujali hata kama unajali. Kitu pekee ambacho huwezi kukifanya ni kuwanyima wanao chakula, hapana ila vingine ambavyo haviui usifanye, mumeo anatakiwa kujua kuwa yeye ndiyo kakuoa na si wewe.

Hapa nataka mnielewe pia, kuna wakati mwanaume mambo yanakua magumu, hapa hata wewe unaona na hutakiwi kumnyanyasa na beba majukumu. Ila kama ana kazi, mambo wala si magumu ila hela yake huioni jua anaenda kuihongea hembu acha ujinga wa kulea mtu mzima, kama alikua bado hajaweza kujitegemea kwanini aoe, si arudi kwenda kunyonya kwa Mama yake.

Lakini pia hata hapa msichanganye, kuna ambao hawana kazi lakini hata hawajiongezi, kwamba hana kazi lakini kutwa kucha anachezea rimoti tu na watoto na kusubiri maji ya kuoga. Si mke ana kazi yeye wala hata hajikuni. Ukimpa mtaji wa biashara anaenda kuhonga na akirudi anataka matumizi kabisa. Mwingine ukimnyima au ukimuambia huna analalamika na kununa kabisa.

Anajifanya kuongea kwa mafumbo kuwa unamnyanyasa na kujifanya mnyongeeee utafikiri yuko kwenye Bleed! Kama ni wa aina hii basi jua anakuchukulia poa na kashakuona kama mume wake! Dada yangu acha kumuendekeza, punguza matumizi mpaka ajiongeze na kutafuta kazi ya kufanya, kumbuka mwanamke anaweza kuwa Mama wa nyumbani ila mwanaume hawezi kuwa Baba wa nyumbani!

Mnatia hasira sana Dada zangu, wengi wenu mnaolalamika kutelekezewa familia nikwakua mnajifanya hamjui kuomba mnabeba majukumu. Mwanaume hawezi kukutelekezea watoto kama hajui kama una namna ya kuwahudumia, lakini utamlishaje mwanaume mtu mzima. Badilika na kuwa mke, acha kubeba majukumu yake sasa, unaona ni madogo ila hao watoto wakikua utachanganyikiwa na kiherehere chako acha!




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